Arnold and The Runaway Bride
by Helga G. Shortman
Summary: An A/U series of connected one shots. It's a quiet day at Arnold's bar when a bride, who just left her fiance at the altar, bursts in needing a place to hide out during the fallout. His life will never be the same.


**Arnold and The Runaway Bride**

 _With all the seriousness and darkness of Monster, I really needed to write something lighthearted. If you like, please review._

 **Arnold and The Runaway Bride**

Arnold Shortman watched the clock as the minutes slowly ticked on; it was 1:30 in the afternoon. He had been open for two and half hours and he had two customers that left over an hour ago. He sighed heavily, maybe opening a bar was a huge mistake. He had been open for just over a month now and business had been slow thus far. Sure, his friends were being supportive as they could, but they were all in their mid twenties now. They had jobs and their own responsibilities they had to deal with, they couldn't exactly dedicate all of their free time hanging out at a bar.

 _It's only been a month_ , he reminded himself, _there is plenty of time to turn things around_. He frowned, perhaps _The Pourhouse_ wasn't the right name choice. He loved a good pun, but at the rate the bar was going he would actually end up in the poorhouse. He put his life savings, which included his grandparents' inheritance, into opening the bar. He had renovated the first level of the boarding house he grew up in into the bar. He lived in the upper levels. If he lost the bar, he'd lose everything.

He was snapped out of his thoughts when heard the door open. He grinned, finally, a customer! "Hi! What can I get for-" Arnold cut himself off mid sentence when he saw her. He blinked. "...You?"

She looked around his age, but maybe a year or so younger. Her golden blonde hair was scooped up into a delicate updo, her sapphire eyes were wide with panic. But the thing that stuck out the most was the fact she was wearing a wedding dress. She said nothing, instead picking up the front of the ridiculously poofy dress and ran to the far side of the bar, sitting on the floor out of sight to anyone walking past the building. "If anyone comes looking for me I'm not here, okay?" She was panting, in this mist of an anxiety attack, Arnold assumed.

"Um...Okay." Arnold was at a loss. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know what to say to the poor woman. Was she a jilted bride let a the altar? Did she catch her husband/fiance in bed with another woman? What the hell was going on? He watched her for a moment as she rocked back in fourth, muttering to herself. Finally, he moved. He grabbed a glass, filling it with water before kneeling down next to her. "Here. Drink this, it might help."

The bride gulped down half the glass. "Thanks." Her breathing had slowed slightly. She used the back of her hand to wipe sweat off her brow. She took another long drink of water.

"I realize this is a stupid question considering you're in sitting on the floor in a wedding dress in middle of having a panic attack, but are you okay?"

"Am I okay?" She repeated, her blue eyes still wide. "I'm supposed to be walking down the aisle right now. But I can't do it. I can't! Just the thought of it makes me want to throw up. I had to get out of there, so I snuck out the bathroom window. Criminy, how cliche is that?" She started to laugh, "I just left my fiance….I wrote a two line note, left my ring and ran. And you know what? I don't even think he'll care! He wanted a trophy wife more than a marriage. My parents will probably disown me, but that's okay. They drive me absolutely insane anyway. I can finally be free! Really, I should have known John was an awful match, I mean my dad set us up. That should have told me this was stupid from the very beginning." She buried her head in her hands. "Now I'm ranting like a lunatic! You probably think I'm a psycho bitch who just left her fiance ten minutes before the wedding."

"I think you might need something stronger than water. What can I get you?"

"I don't have any money with me. I left everything at the church." The blonde woman muttered, her head still in her hands. "I can't go back there yet."

Arnold held out a hand, helping her to her feet. "It's okay. It's on me today. You are over twenty one, right?"

She nodded. "Twenty two." She sniffed, "Why are you being so nice to me? You don't even know me."

He shrugged, "Because it's the right thing to do." He held out a hand, "Arnold Shortman."

She smiled meekly, shaking his hand "Helga Pataki."

Arnold cocked an eyebrow, "Pataki? As in Pataki Electronics?"

"Big Bob would be my father."

"Hmmm...I worked at one of your dad's stores in high school."

"Ugh, I'm sorry to hear that." With a bit of difficulty she monouvered her dress to sit on one of the bar stools. "Does this mean I don't get that drink anymore?"

"What do you like?" Arnold asked, grabbed two glasses from under the bar.

"Anything with whiskey."

"What did you say your name was again?" Arnold asked as he filled the glasses with ice. He had worked at Bob Pataki's original store, one that Bob frequented. Afterall, he liked to micromanage. He had been hard on his employees he could only imagine how much harder he would be on his own daughter. He remembered him talking in great length about his daughter Olga. He thought maybe he had heard the name wrong, but if he recalled correctly Olga was several years older than him.

"Helga." She repeated, looking just in time to see a look of confusion etched onto his features. "If you met my dad, I'm guessing he gushed about how wonderful and amazing Olga is…" He handed her her drink. "And I'm willing to bet my name never came up." She took a drink of her whiskey sour. "By the look on your face I know I'm right. I'm fifteen years younger than my sister. It is no secret I wasn't planned. They never hid that fact either. They shipped me off to boarding school the second they could. You know most boarding schools don't take kids until third or fourth grade? They managed to find one that took first graders."

"That's horrible." He always knew Big Bob was a jerk, but to ship a seven year old off to boarding school just so he didn't have to deal with her? That was despicable.

Helga shrugged, swirling her drink, "Honestly, looking back it was probably better than actually being with them all the time." She rolled her eyes, "Still, I spent years trying to be good enough. Of course, I never was. I think I was getting pretty close with marrying John…." She shook her head, "I don't know why I'm tell you all of this. I don't even know you."

Arnold gave her a small smile, "You'd be surprised how much people reveal to their friendly neighborhood bartender."

"How long have you worked here?"

"I actually own the place, but I bar tended all through college." Arnold answered, running a hand through his blonde hair. "I've only been open a month, business has been a little slow." He admitted, "Hopefully things will pick up soon."

"I hope so too…" Helga tried to shift in her seat, but was having trouble because of her dress. "I hate this dress! I need to get out of it." She managed to get out of her seat with minimal effort despite the size of her dress. "Where's the restroom?"

"Right over there…" He pointed near the back of the bar. He watched her as she lifted the dress off the floor the best she could as she made her way to the women's restroom. He couldn't help but laugh when he heard her curse under her breath as the dress's train got caught in the door. Arnold shook his head. Though business was slow, at least the day was interesting!

Nearly fifteen minutes later Helga had yet to reemerge from the restroom and Arnold started to wonder if she had snuck out the bathroom window again. He frowned, the fact she told him she needed to get out of the dress just hitting him. She didn't have a change of clothes. He was about to knock on the bathroom door when it opened. He jumped back in surprise. "Helga!"

"Arnold!" She laughed, mocking his surprise. "Were you trying to sneak a peek?" She asked, lifting an eyebrow. "Do you have an office or somewhere you can put this?" Not waiting for an answer Helga thrusted the pile of taffeta into his hands. "God, it feels good to get out of that thing."

Arnold watched her for a moment as she walked back to the bar. She was wearing a white silk slip, one that she obviously had on under her dress, that could easily pass for a dress. Her hair was down from it's updo and dampened. With it being up he hadn't realized it reached halfway down her back. "Err..No! I wasn't. I just thought you maybe snuck out the window again." He stuttered. What the hell was wrong with him? "Just a second." He disappeared into his office for a moment, draping the dress over his desk. "That things weighs a ton." He commented as he rejoined her at the bar.

Helga snorted, "Try wearing it."

Arnold couldn't help but notice Helga's figure as she sat down. She had curves, she had a butt. A really nice one. He tore his eyes off the young woman's rear. It didn't feel right ogling a bride on her wedding day. Even though she didn't go through with it. He cleared his throat. "You don't seem to like the dress much." He observed, "Why'd you pick it?"

"I didn't." Helga admitted. "My sister, mother, and John's mom did. They all loved it. Me? Not so much. I mean it's a beautiful dress, but wasn't me." She down the rest of her drink. "I prefer something that's slightly less poofy." She watched him as he grabbed her glass to refill her drink, "I didn't push back at all because I really didn't want anything to do with the wedding planning."

"Did you mean what you said before? Do you think you're parents would really disown you just because you ran out on your wedding? I mean I'm sure a lot of money went into it but-"

"It won't be because of the money. Yeah, Bob will be pissed for wasting all that money and will tell me how grateful I am…" Helga rolled her eyes, "But causing embarrassment to the Pataki name is what will send him over the edge. I'm fairly certain they've been waiting for an excuse to kick me out of the family anyway."

"Well, then..." Arnold raised a glass, "Let's drink."

It was one in the morning when Arnold walked Helga to her apartment, "Are you going to be able to get in? Do you have your keys?"

Helga shook her head, "My doorman will be able to help me get in. I just hope my parents or John aren't there. I'm not ready to face them yet." She wrapped the fleece jacket Arnold lent her tightly around her chest. "Thank you for everything you did today. I'm not sure what I would have done if I hadn't stumbled into your bar. I'll find a way to make it up to you." She promised. "This is me…" She gestured towards the tall building to their right.

"It was nothing." He scratched the back of his neck nervously, "Well, you have my number." He shoved his hands into his jacket pockets. "You can stop by the bar anytime to pick up your dress. And um...Good luck with everything."

"Thanks…" Helga was about to walk away, but instead she took a step forward and pressed her lips against his. Arnold responded immediately, slipping his tongue against hers. Her hands grabbed handfuls of his coat as his tangled themselves into her hair.

If someone that morning told Arnold Phillip Shortman he'd finish his night by making out with a woman who ran out on her fiance the day of their wedding he would have thought they were crazy. But there he was. Reluctantly, he pulled away. His hands went to her face, cupping her cheeks. "We shouldn't be doing this right now." He whispered, his lips still close to hers.

"I know." Helga smiled with a shrug, "But I've done a lot of things today that shouldn't have done."

"At least getting married wasn't one of them."

"Thank God for that." She kissed his cheek, "Goodnight Arnold." Without another word she walked with purpose to apartment building. Arnold watched her speak with the doorman for a moment before disappearing inside the building. Smiling, Arnold shoved his hands into his jacket pockets. He had a feeling he'd be seeing more of Helga Pataki. And he was okay with that.

* * *

So the concept of these one shots is that Helga will living her life on her own terms for the very first time. She might seem a little out of character at first, but her inner Helga will come out soon. I just thought it would fun to explore what it would be like if Helga and Arnold didn't grow up together. I already have several one shots in mind. The next one being, Helga Makes a List which is Helga and Arnold making a list of things Helga wants to do/experience but didn't get the chance to do because of her parents' control. If you have any requests/ideas for what can be on that list, which will be a one shot eventually, let me know. One thing I will spoil right now, despite the kiss they will not be a couple right away.


End file.
